You know you’re in Ghana when….
There are five stands in a row at the market selling the same thing, and the owners are all friends
You sweat so much while sitting still that you feel like you’re getting a workout
The businesses have names like “God is great hair salon”
Taxis and tro-tros have similar sayings and pictures of Jesus stuck to the windows, not to mention plenty of flags and various colorful decorations hanging from the windshield
You can see the ground through the holes in the floor boards of the tro-tro, and the door falls off while you are riding in it
None of the taxis have working speedometers and you don’t know whether the fuel gauge isn’t working or if it’s actually on empty
People honk just for fun, such as in rhythm to a song playing on the radio (which always works)
You hear the same song everywhere you go, and sometimes while you are trying to sleep… “No one be like you…”
Hissing or snapping or smooching is an acceptable way of getting somebody’s attention
You never expect anything to start within thirty minutes of the set time, and it can take all day to do one thing
You automatically begin using your right hand for everything, even if the left is more convenient
Finding something in your food that shouldn’t be is no longer a surprise, but expected
You drink water out of plastic bags (sachets)
Everywhere you go you hear “pue wata, i’s pue!” and “plantain!”
You start saying things like “ah!” and “ehe”
The doctor prescribes antibiotics for everything
Political campaigns involve people piled into a pickup driving down the street, blaring music from megaphones
You see men carrying huge machetes around and don’t think twice, they’re just cutting grass
Seeing guards and police with AK-47s is normal
You can bribe a guard with 1 cedi, or sometimes an orange
You’re used to checking your bed for bugs, dead or alive, and always travel with your own sheet
There is something rather large living in your roof that runs around at night, and nobody knows what it is
People pray in tongues all night, then preach outside your window at 6 am
You’re afraid to swim when you go to the beach, and it’s not because of the undertow
Kids use the styrofoam garbage they find at the beach as floaties
You’ve run over more than one chicken in a taxi
And the number one sign you’re in Ghana is…
When you’re shown the village’s pet grasscutter after you’ve been served one for dinner!
